So this week has been pretty hard on me and my self-esteem. I made some decisions that really hurt a few people. I'm a total people-pleaser and knowing that I now have a reputation as a shitty person and friend really sucks. And you know what is even sadder than the things that people are saying about me? The fact that I was actually starting to believe it. But at the same time, I don't understand how people can define somebody by the mistakes that they have made. Yes, I have made foolish decisions and the way I went about things definitely didn't show any intelligence on my part. And yes, if I could go back I would change the way I handled this situation. Unfortunately, I cannot win back some friendships or their respect, but luckily, I'm a daughter of a heavenly father who accepts me just as I am; flawed and broken. I can come into his presence  and tell him about my mistakes without fearing his rejection. In this situation, he has reassured me that I should not listen to the people with words of destruction and instead, find comfort in the fact that he has plans for my life that no eyes have seen nor any ears have heard.

I have a huge heart, my intentions are good, and I have a lot of love to give, but I am human and mistakes will be made, some which will affect others.

Was I being selfish?
Probably. And I'm sorry.