It's crunch time baby

A lot of people say that there is no worse thing than seeing your friends or parents be disappointed in you. Well, I disagree. I think the worst condition you can be in is whenever you face disappointment within yourself. Last night I finally opened my eyes and started looking at my life a little bit more realistically. It was hard, but on the other hand, it was awakening. I cannot believe I prioritized my life in a way that would end up hurting me instead of benefitting me, and I cannot believe how poorly and irresponsibly I handled the things that were given to me. Since there is no going back in time (unfortunately after years of new discoveries and inventions a time machine has not yet been one of them) I now must somehow try to fix this mess I have made out of my life. I'm lucky I have this permanent joy and peace inside of me that are the only things right now that are keeping me from freaking out or even giving up. Oh boy.